I see you out there… Mamas who are working tirelessly to finish the school year strong for your children. Spending nights using your own time that should be dedicated to self-care filled with researching what in the world the “new way” of doing math is these days. I see you out there… Papas who are furloughed, trying to figure out a new purpose during these dire times. I see you out there… Professionals who have been working from home, kicking out your kiddos from your modified office/bedroom when all you want to do is hug them and close down the computer. I see you out there… Medical professionals working tirelessly, OT shifts to cover ill colleagues, trying to watch out for your vulnerable population of other staff who have chronic illnesses who you cannot protect as they venture out to the front lines. I see you out there… Teachers who have a burning desire to inspire youth but are met with fried children just dying to see their friends but can’t, trying to escape with video games, and not turning in work because they don’t feel there is reason for it. I see you out there… High School graduates packing up your prom dress that was never used, missing out on Senior Ditch day, Senior picnics, never being able to commemorate this time even with a simple Senior picture. Going “off” to college with online classes and studying from the same room you grew up in, when you should be moving into a dorm and having the perfect college experience. I see you out there… Infants and toddlers who just don’t understand why you cannot play with your friend, why people are covering half their faces which you base the emotive features on the content of what’s happening, why Grandma and Grandpa are only on screens now. I see myself… A mental health professional wondering about the gravity of what is happening right now in this moment and the implications of what this will do to our society for years to come. Wondering how a lack of social contact will impact developmental milestones. Wondering when the frontline workers will be able to pause and grieve. Wondering when the weight of this all will just become too overwhelming.
Just remember… It is ok, and expected, to grieve the society that once was. To fear the future. To not be able to live mindfully in the present moment, because you do not want to acknowledge or check in on how you are feeling about what’s going on.
I wake up each morning and go out to my garden, water my plants which are flourishing from my desire to implement routine in my home (for at least some sense of control) and therefore get watered every day at 7 am. (Insert gardening passion project at the onset of this whole thing to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t be scared for all of my vulnerable friends and family). I spend ten minutes or so just sitting in the grass, listening to the birds, feeling the wind blow against me, grounding myself for the day to come. Then I come back inside, drink a massive cup of coffee, hop on my computer and get to it.
~Christy Livingston, LMFT